2026-08-13
Hold Music: A Track-by-Track Review of the Album Nobody Asked For
Grievance no. 002 — we reviewed 47 minutes of customer-service hold music like the double LP it thinks it is. The surprise ending is bold.
2026-08-13
Self-Checkout Is a Job and I Want Back Pay
Grievance no. 001 — they made us the cashier, the bagger, and the prime suspect, and paid us in a robot voice. Invoice enclosed.
2026-08-13
My Toaster Wants a Firmware Update and I Want a Divorce
Grievance no. 003 — a machine with one job now demands wifi, an account, and a 2 a.m. update before it will consider bread. We want out.